The world's stingiest man Chapter 1 (comedy)

So there I stood, the world's stingiest man, ready for my first date with my dream woman. I wanted to impress her but also keep my hard-earned money intact. So, I decided to invite her to a truly unique dinner.

First and foremost, the appetizer. I took a few handfuls of soil from my garden, thinking it would be a fantastic start. However, I wasn't quite ready to spend money on something as trivial as potting soil, so I mixed in a tiny bit of concrete into the soil. Then, I added yesterday's coffee grounds to mask the unpleasant smell. I used my hand mixer and whipped as if my life depended on it, and eventually, the soil became fluffier than ever. A perfect beginning!

Now it was time for the main course. I had heard that rainwater was free and full of nutrients, so I had prepared a watering can filled with it. I served it to my dream woman and said cheerfully, "This is the best water you'll ever drink. Of course, tap water is way too expensive, so I've gone the extra mile to ensure we save money."

She looked at me skeptically but tried it anyway. I could see her expression change as she tasted the rainwater. Maybe it wasn't as bad as it sounded? Or perhaps she was just being very polite.

So there we sat, under a starry sky, sipping rainwater from a watering can and dining on concrete-enriched potting soil. Believe it or not, it was actually quite an entertaining date. We laughed at the absurdity of the situation and realized that it was our shared sense of humor that truly bonded us.

On the way home, as I looked at my wallet, which was still as thick as when I arrived, I realized that it's not really about how much money you spend on a date. It's about having fun together and creating memories. And if you happen to save a few bucks along the way, well, that's just a bonus. I may have been the world's stingiest man, but this date taught me that sometimes it's worth letting go and pampering yourself and the one you care about.

The next morning, the woman woke up with a terrible stomachache and had to stay in the bathroom all day. She was really not feeling well, and every step was a struggle. When she finally managed to come out of the bathroom, she tripped on her pants that she had forgotten to pull up when she rushed in earlier. She fainted and woke up the next morning again, this time with several missed calls and messages on her phone.

I felt worried and decided to call her one more time to thank her for the incredibly cheap dinner. When she answered, her voice sounded weak and tired.

"I just want to thank you for the memorable dinner last night," I said cheerfully. "It was truly an experience."

She replied with a weak voice, "Yes, I'll probably never forget it. But not in a good way. I've never felt so sick in my entire life."

I was a bit surprised and wondered what could have caused her discomfort. I decided to be honest and explained my recipe to her. I told her about the potting soil with concrete and coffee grounds and the fluffy result.

There was silence for a few seconds, and then I heard her exclaim, "You served me what? Are you serious? That's what made me sick?!"

She sounded furious and disappointed at the same time. I tried to explain that I had just wanted to be creative and save money, but she wasn't convinced. We didn't talk anymore after that conversation, and I realized that my quest to be thrifty had gone too far this time.

So, I learned that there are limits to how much you can save on a date, and it's important to consider your partner's well-being. Sometimes it's best to go for something a bit more conventional and tasteful, even if it costs a little more, to avoid ending up in a stomachache of this magnitude.

When I tried to explain to her that I had only wanted to be creative and save money, she became even more irritated and said, "But didn't you like the exquisite dish?!"

To be continued!